A lot of us have disagreements and conversations bringing discomfort, and anxiety about legitimate issues which sometimes divide us. We call that conflict, not complaint.
Conflict can be healthy, as long as we have resolution and reconciliation as the final goal of conflict. With conflict, as long as we have resolution/reconciliation in mind, can flush out hidden agendas, motives, demonstrating healthy honest differences of opinion.
When we look at these issues from an unbiased perspective, as hard as that is; it’s healthy, dealing with the realities of life, the situations we go through, and personal goals we have. These issues of conflict are now visible causes us to walk in integrity and honesty.
But what about complaints; are they the same as conflict? What happen when someone is dissatisfied and causes conflict…isn’t this the same thing?
NO, not at all! Many times when we complain, we do so because we are not getting what we feel we are entitled to. We walk in an illusion of our own grandeur, believing our rights are more important than others.
We confuse these two based on our identification of and/or priority of our perceived needs and the obstacle that others place in front of us to have their wants/needs met by conflicting behavior.
Everybody experiences these types of situation. It’s a part of our culture which is obsessed with self. It’s easy to fall into to this mindset because our economy is built around us as consumers. We deserve to be right and those whom want our business/money will do everything within their power to accommodate us. It’s easy to put pressure on the person behind the counter in order to get what we want. It’s easy to complain on “Yelp” because we waited too long for our Big-Mac. If your bold enough, you’ll talk to the manager because of their staffs boo-boo’s. We are the customer, and we’re always right.
The question must now be asked; is your Christianity about making sure you are delivered what you’re entitled to have? WELL…isn’t that the essence of grace? Nope! It’s not…the grace of God is to be emulated by us to those whom we meet and extend to them the grace of God. God’s grace isn’t about entitlement, our rights, and our privilege.
So What Is Our Privilege
It seems to me that we might be hoarders of God’s grace refusing to dispense it to those whom God has orchestrated to come into your life. Now you have the great privilege of extending grace to them. This extension of the grace of God witnesses to them the greatness of forgiveness within your life…not complaining, but forgoing your rights understanding that in the great scheme of things…you’re forgiven, and your forgiveness goes in front of you…not as an afterthought, but a forethought.
Some of the inspiration of these thoughts came from other authors, and things I’ve been considering for a long time. One writer puts it this way.
“From what I’ve seen, getting what you’re entitled to in this life fights against finding what has the most value in the next. A flood of complaints at the register rarely fights for the soul of the person behind it. In winning the battle for entitlement we may very well lose the battle for eternity. Consider the battle today. Consider it when you step up to order. Consider it when things aren’t up to what you feel you deserve. Consider it when you begin your complaint. Then find a better way.”